Live television. It’s one of me favourite inventions, not cause it spreads information, but because shit can go wrong at any second! Whether it’s the simplistic joy of slapstick comedy being captured or a cooking tutorial becoming dangerous and everyone acts like it’s not dangerous, I love it, I love all of the fuck ups. What was this guy’s plan exactly? Pull ya handlebars! Lift the front tyre! Maybe hitting the curb was his plan? It’s quicker to fall over and get up, rather than detour towards a driveway. This bloke has a big opportunity, he’s interviewing a group of swimmers. If he’s not careful he’s gonna fucken drown in front of them, which would be poetic. He tries to conduct the interview. It’s not gonna be the same now. He stands awkwardly close to the sheila, his equipment is failing, she’s leaning back waiting for him to finish. Over at the studio they’re like “Sorry. we can’t hear you at all, Mike.” “But it’s a great story and you’re a valuable member of the news team. “Oh yeah, sure, I can twerk in this tight dress. Get ready for my… pre-planned wardrobe malfunction, Haha.” Look how excited everyone is over an arse. They’re all chanting: “we saw ya butthole! We saw ya butthole! Give him a sniff!” He puts the lid back on. It’s all packed away. Crikey, we are a simple species, aren’t we? Here’s a parrot that reckons he’s got a pretty good life story. He’s like “stop talking about depressing shit. Let me tell you about my bloody fun adventures. Yes, give me the microphone, thank you. Oi, oi, nah, fuck you, don’t take me away.” This instantly looks like a great idea. Yeah nah the tank is bugged. She needs to get outta there. It’s been infiltrated by a pack of bugs. There’s one on her face and it makes her go full mental! I reckon just get in the tank, admit defeat, and try to go out honourably. Unless your surname is Irwin, don’t get involved with reptiles on live TV. Not everyone can pull it off. Seriously, someone’s gonna lose a finger or a toe or a genital in future. It’s not gonna be pretty. Speaking of genitals, you can tell when someone is thinking about them, the subconscious always bubbles its way to the surface eventually. I’m sure this fella is an expert sports analyst, but he’s also an expert artist. This is a profound and confronting piece of work. I enjoy looking at it as much as a Pablo Picasso painting. It’s abstract, yet recognisable, relatable, and colourful. Here comes another serious piece of art being displayed to the public for the first time. Yeeep. This is a wanted man. I don’t think the news reporter looked at this in advance. He’s discovering it for the first time as well. He rolls with the punches and starts giving a detailed description of what he’s looking at. Good on him for not being overly judgmental about it. Yeah nah nah nah good on him. Oh there ya go! Someone spotted the guy. This picture is actually not that bad. Technically, the video is no longer a fails video. It’s a fucken success video. You should never judge someone’s work too soon. Over time, something can turn out to be a masterpiece.