Adopt this little puppy today. Don’t stray away from stays. Cut.. cut! Sir, don’t stay away from strays. The first one is “stay”
and the second one is “stray”. Oh yeah, sorry, yeah… -Take two!
-Action! Adopt this little puppy today. Don’t… -Take three!
-And…action! Don’t stray away… -Take 12!
-Action! Don’t stray away… What the f**k! Take 31… take 48… take 62! Adopt this little puppy today. Don’t stray…motherf***ker! I can’t do this.
Please take this. I can’t do it. Get Eminem to do it. And this…
does this look like a stray to you? It’s a well bred, healthy dog.
He can adopt a few dogs himself. -No, I can’t do it.
-Sir, please… The state of dogs in India is bad anyway. -One more time, sir.
-Please, sir. But only 12 seconds, okay? I have to play poker with the Dalai Lama. One-by-one, take 72! And… action! Adopt this little puppy today. -Don’t stray away from stays.
-Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Save the dog!
Where’s the dog’s owner? -What?
-Call the fire brigade! -Whoa!
-Are you fine, sir? Are you okay? It’s been a month since that ad. But I still can’t get over it. You know, I don’t walk on the road because I’m scared
a bike might run me over. I don’t drive a bike because
I’m afraid of being hit by a car. I don’t drive a car because
I’m afraid of being hit by a truck. And truck? Who drives a truck? Interesting. You know, seven out of eleven people
call this a ‘Near-death experience’. -And the remaining four?
-Well, they’re dead. Look, Dev, I think at this stage,
you need to take life slow. Sometimes, you hold on
to things so tightly. Open your hands,
grab on to some new opportunities. Whatever you’re holding on to,
just let go. Imagine you’re on a beach somewhere. Wherever the ocean takes you. Let go. It all has to go, Dev.
That’s what life is… -Hello, Mr. Awasthi.
-Hello, Anderson… -Listen, I want to close down Tathaastu.
-Wait, what did you say? And… issue a press release. -And book two tickets to India for me.
-Wait, what? Sorry, I forgot that
you don’t understand Hindi. Listen, do one thing,
we are closing Tathaastu. We’ll bring you an April winter… We’ll bring you an April winter…
Take you on a tour of Mars and Jupiter… Chill with corpses and
hang out with ghosts for you… Climb the Eiffel Tower
to sing a heartbreak song for you… And make our enemies at the border
dance to an item song… Blow your worries away…
Smoke up all the stash… To hell with the planets,
chart your own destiny… Blow your worries away…
You’re wild and untamed… Smile now, buddy…
Tathaastu to your wish coming true! DK, a bit higher. No… uh, a bit lower. Gently… yes! Almost there, Kondapalli…
yes, that’s the spot! Yes… oh, yes… oh… Oh… -You’re awesome, Kondapalli.
-One minute… You still don’t have the license
to call me Kondapalli. Will there be a written test
for that license or… -…oral?
-Hey. Make do with working
on the ground for now. Shruti, a customer is
asking for Pepsi Blue. -Pepsi Blue?
-Yes. Let’s do one thing,
we’ll send masala papad, alcohol, chakhna, peanuts, ice,
and everything else that they might need. Okay. Idiot, I was kidding.
I’m coming, wait. Hey… Hello… somebody help me get down. The chair is wobbling. Santosh! Loli– Dear Ahuja Sir… Wait a second, ‘dear’ is a bit too much. Let me get ready of ‘sir’ too. No, I’ll keep the ‘sir’. Yes. I am writing this email to express Dissatisfaction with
my current employment. Radhika, I can’t seem to find
my laptop charger. Have you seen it? Radhika, can we get a photocopy
from the printer? Radhika, how do you get unblocked
from a WhatsApp group. Asking for a friend. Hence, consider this email
as my official resignation letter. And send! Santosh! Tea or coffee? Why isn’t the WiFi working? What are you checking? Tinder? Shall I suggest a bio for you?
Bibliophile. Bibliophile at heart. Sapiosexual. I love pussy…cat. Not here for hookups. Only making friends. Santosh, why isn’t the WiFi working? That’s your department. Shall I give you a hotspot? The whole office can work with it. Hotspot? Santosh… -You see this router…
-Yes, sir. There’s a lot of dust on it. Clean it with detergent. Maybe the dust is the reason behind
the network problems…thanks! Why not throw it in the washing machine?
It’ll clean everything out. Everybody here is so dumb! Sir, are you sure you only
want four Pepsi Blue? No, I mean, a normal Pepsi, Fanta, Mirinda, Sprite,
Thumbs Up or Coke won’t do? I need Pepsi Blue, madam. My father used to be a huge cricket fan. He’d bunk office to watch Ranji’s matches. People take their children
to water parks and Disney. My father would show us Irani trophy
qualifiers during our summer vacations. Pavilion A, front row. Sir… shall we get to the point? He was fielding at the point that day, When he was hit by a ball
and returned to the pavilion. Stop creating stupid
nostalgia like Gavaskar… It’s not nostalgia. Last night,
my dad appeared in my dream. I asked him if I can
bring him tea, water or juice… He replied with, “I want to bleed blue,
where’s my Pepsi Blue?” It’s his funeral service
day after tomorrow. We wish to fulfil
our father’s last wishes By serving Pepsi Blue
to four retired Brahmin cricketers. Okay, sir. Let me see what we can do.
Tathaastu! Easy…easy… let Sehwag play. Look at the Rawalpindi Express. Son, never forget that your father,
will always be greater than you. And growing your hair
out won’t change that. -Shruti…
-Hmmm? How many wishes did you fulfil this month? Eight… eight… eight… And you? Including yesterday’s, around… -16 and a half.
-What? Why did you leave half a wish? That’s because senior citizens
are counted as half. That reminds me…
Santosh, half a cup of tea. Yes. Hey… oh f**k! Just missed, DK! Now! -Pause.
-Listen, DK… -I was saying…
-Pause it. -This time…
-Pause it! Okay, relax. Razzaq, you don’t know
whose catch you’ve missed. This shouldn’t move a bit. I’ll be back. Alright. Just because I’m out of form,
doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to bat. Hmmm… Remember, form is temporary. But class… -Class is permanent.
-Hmmm… Then bring some of your class
to this case as well. Arrange for four bottles of Pepsi Blue And make a come back. And if you arrange a couple more Then we’ll also enjoy some nostalgia. What’s this nostalgia nonsense? I don’t understand why people are
fixated upon old irrelevant things. Bro! Bro! Speaking of old irrelevant things… Ahuja sir, how are you? -Very good. Excellent.
-Okay. I’ve come to show you
something cool today. UNESCO? UNESCO? UNESCO has declared that India’s national anthem
is the best national anthem in the world. My chest had swollen to 56 inches
with pride. Oh, it’s an India match. Cadet, stomach in, chest out! -By the way, sir…
-Yes? Where do you bring
such latest updates from? Hmmm… technology, bro. -Technology?
-Sir! Latest technology. I’ve bought a new phone. No buttons, only touch. And when you touch it, it’s just magic…
magic… magic… OMG! Hey DK… What’s this? This is a laptop, Loli. -Oh…
-OMG! That means we won’t need
a CPU with a computer anymore?! -Oh…
-Enough of that! I got it. You guys don’t think I’m modern. Ahuja will show you what being modern is. Forward march! Chest in, stomach out! Lower the volume. Thank you. -Yes, mom?
-Have you landed? Yes, I’ve landed, tell me. Good job! Now quickly check out
the IT girl’s photo that I’ve sent. Mom, again with the
incessant persuasion. How many times have I told you
that I don’t want to get married? Don’t talk nonsense.
Check out the photo. Such a beautiful girl
and she has a technical job as well! Mom, I don’t have the time. I have to finish an urgent job
and head to Dharamshala. Otherwise, Dalai Lama will leave
with Preity Zinta, to watch IPL. Okay, don’t listen to me. All I wanted was… Yes, you wished to see the faces
of your grandchildren before you died. Mom, how many times
will you repeat the same thing? Sir, tell mom there’s no need
to get married for that. Will you please keep your eyes
on the road and drive? Thank you. You’ve become a foreigner. You’ll pay your dues to Starbucks, but what about the milk I fed you? How will you pay for that? Whatever you’re holding on to,
just let it go. Let it go… Let it go… Okay, mom, I will… – I will do it.
– Very good. My good boy. Bhaiya, what’s the ETA? Nine minutes, sir. Hello? I only have eight minutes, So tell me your personality type,
your blood group, Your spirit animal,
whatever it is, just tell me. Who is this?
Who the hell is this?! I’m your potential suitor, ma’am
and I don’t have much time. Who do you think you are, a**hole? I reject this potential suitor. You reject me? I reject your rejection. I reject you rejecting my rejection. Listen, I’ve just filed my resignation
at my company today. Don’t rile me up
else I’ll shoot you too. What the f**k! Mom! Who is this?
He’s talking like a mad man! And what does he want? He’s a US based millionaire, dear. Silicon Valley. Don’t you want a green card? – Just talk to him once.
– I won’t talk to him. And I don’t want to get married. Okay… -It’s my only wish…
-Yes, I know… You want to see the faces of your
grandchildren before leaving this world. Okay, I’ll call him. My dear girl! Where can I get Pepsi Blue… Pepsi Blue… Hey… idea! Let’s ask Pepsi for their formula and make it…simple! -Hmmm… simple, isn’t it?
-Yeah. I’ll call Pepsi right away and… what all do we want?
The billion dollar formula for Pepsi Blue. -Yes.
-And a vending machine too, Shruti. A vending machine, sure. And DK, I’ll also ask for
their daughter’s hand for you. DK, try some of this. Don’t give cr*ppy ideas. Okay, I was just thinking. Chill. Twitter! How about we start a hashtag on Twitter that says #BringBackPepsiBlue? -Yeah, it’ll be viral in three days.
-Exactly! And Indra Nooyi will
go door-to-door serving Pepsi from a soda machine. FYI, Nooyi is no longer
the CEO of PepsiCo. Anyway, why can’t we put
blue colour in Sprite? Ummm… Sprite belongs to Coke,
we’ll have to use 7 Up. We can add blueberry to 7 Up. -We’ll grate it and add.
-Best idea, DK! -I’ll order for it right away.
-Loli… It’s Pepsi Blue. It’s not your local sherbet
which you cut, mix and drink! Shruti, why are you stopping him? – He’s doing it right. You are…
– Isn’t it? He’s doing it right, eh?
Go ahead then. When his father watches
the Ranji trophy in your dreams, Don’t come crying to me. Oh god… Pepsi Blue…
Pepsi Blue.. I’m going crazy.
It was a limited edition product. Uday Chopra’s career lasted
longer than that product. Is there an ad of it? Anything at all? -There must be, DK. I’ll get the laptop.
-Please do. – I’ll go right away.
– Yes. Oh god… frustrating, man! Frustrating… By the way… You seem to be in good form today. Well… I’m in the mood to score a century today. -Really?
-That’s why. I’ve been sitting on the bench
for the last two matches. If you were feeling lonely on the bench,
you could’ve called me over. Well… It took some time,
but this is the only ad I’ve found. What sort of an ad is this? Where are the cricketers? They must be practising. If they kept shooting all day,
how’d they reach the finals, baby? Somebody must have Pepsi Blue. There must be someone! – I don’t know…
– I can’t say for sure… But people say that India’s
first Playstation and Pepsi Blue go to Shah Rukh’s house. Maybe he might have some old stock…baby. You know, Loli… That’s actually a brilliant idea, man! Look anyway Saif, owes us one. For Taimur’s potty seat. We’ll take Shah Rukh’s number from him. Moreover, we already have 7 Up
and the copper sulphate formula, right? I’ll do one thing, I’ll get in touch
with Saif. I’ll book the cab, but– -My hand…
-Give it back. I’ll book the cab. Oh god, I want to spank
that *ss so bad! Oh, Loli! When will it happen? I hope, it never does. Madam, I’ve brought coconut water for you. Special. Drink it. You’ll feel healthier. You know, Bijli drinks it every day.
She’s always glowing. -Santosh…
-No? Santosh! Where are you going?
Come here. Firstly, my full name is Santosh Kumar. I have two masters degrees,
in political science and… – I’m not a coconut water seller.
– Double M.A., listen to me. Why is Radhika upset? Did you not serve her tea on time? I don’t impose anything on anyone.
If they don’t ask, I don’t serve. Okay, listen… She likes chocolate brownie, doesn’t she? – Shall I order it for her?
– Okay. – It won’t be weird, right?
– No. Why is she upset though? If only I knew… How would you know?
Why am I asking you? Go on! How would I know? I don’t even know that
something fishy is going on with Shruti. Hey… – What are you saying?
– Have I said too much? – No, that…
– It sort of slipped out.. – No, you know everything.
– I don’t know anything. – You know everything.
– I don’t know anything, really. – I swear, I know nothing.
– I’ll recharge your internet. I swear on Bijli. – Really?
– Really. She has put in her papers. – Put in her papers…
– Yes. You mean resignation? No. – Then?
– Yes. – Yes, mom.
– Did you talk to her, son? This girl turned out
to be very ill-mannered. Ill-mannered? We got divorced before we
even got married. Have you lost your mind? What do you think of yourself? – No, mom…
– My choice is ill-mannered? – No, mom, listen…
– The river of culture flows by her yard. – You should be grateful that…
– What can I do about that? …they’re willing to accept
a boy like you as their son-in-law. – Mom…
– You wanted a techie girl. – Oh man…
– So I did. – Listen to me, mom.
– Now you say that she’s ill-mannered. Listen… mom… She has taught every woman
in the colony to play tambola. – What do I do if she plays tambola?
– Mrs. Iyer’s blood can’t be ill-mannered. – Mom…
– Shut up and call her. – She’s driving me nuts…
– What have I gotten myself into! Hey… hi… Hi. Listen, I… I think we just started off
on the wrong foot actually. Isn’t it? Even I was thinking the same. Oh, great. So… So, uh… What… what do you do? I can do a lot of things. But currently, I hack bank accounts
using command prompt and convert black money to white. What? So you know to use command prompt? I have a masters in computer science. M.Sc. or MCA? M.Tech. Windows or iOS? Ubuntu. Nice. ‘I want to spank that a** so bad!’ ‘Oh, Loli! When will this happen?’ -Sir…
-Yes? I was thinking of taking a half-day today. Why all of a sudden? You have never taken
a half-day in the last two years. Sir, I’m not feeling well. If you’re not feeling well
then have some cinnamon powder. Look at these caucasians… They’ve gone viral
by eating cinnamon powder. Sir, that’s called a ‘Cinnamon Challenge’. That… sir, I’m feeling unwell
so I’m leaving. By the way, Loli… What happened, sir? It’s such a cute puppy, man. I’m dying to give it kisses. Sir, I’m not able to
focus on my work at all. You’ll have to focus on work. If you’re unwell, then cinnamon– Take a pill, get some rest. Take a break. And then you’ll be able
to slog without any trouble. At least look at me when talking! I’ve been standing here all this while,
trying to tell you something. And you’re busy looking at memes! – Loli…
– To hell with Loli! Sorry. I’m first to arrive in the office
and the last to leave. The least I expect is some respect. And if you can’t give me that respect, then at least give me some attention. Sometimes I feel like
I’m the twelfth man of this team! My presence makes
no difference to anybody, does it? Forget it. – Forget it. I’m going home.
– Hey, wait… Wait… sorry… – Ahuja is apologising to you…
– It’s okay. If you’re not feeling well, it’s okay. You can work from home tomorrow. Thank you, sir. Loli! Loli… – Sir…
– Come here. I’m really telling you,
I’m not feeling well. I’ll go home and watch it, I promise. This isn’t something you watch alone. Come over. Very good. See what’s this… Sir, this is the ‘Cinnamon Challenge’.
My cab is waiting. This is the fruit of our wait. This is our jackpot. Our Pepsi Blue. See that, two plus two.
It’s genuine. See her Insta handle.
It’s @kendelljennerisbae. – Sir, you mean ‘bae’.
– Yes. Location… Philippines. This means… This means that Ahuja is
new internet king of this office. Wait… Since his coronation,
Saif has become quite arrogant. – He elbowed my face!
– You were no less. Who asked you to mention Shahid
in Kareena’s presence? I was talking about Afridi. “I had gone away for many years…” – Is he high on coke?
– “I toiled hard and brought back Pepsi”. – Are you having a stroke?
– A new era has begun, buddy. He did it. He fulfilled the wish. – Impossible!
– No… He actually did. In trying to become more modern, He watched so many trending videos
that he reached YouTube Philippines. In one of those videos,
he saw Pepsi Blue. If we order from Philippines today,
we’ll get it in a couple of days. – Hey Santosh!
– Yes, sir. We should celebrate today.
Have a party. – Do one thing.
– Yes. For everyone in the office… – Get beer.
– With hundred rupees? It’s not even enough to buy a
litre of petrol to set the office on fire. – This miserly man… – Hey, don’t…
– Wait. To hell with office discipline. – Here, get your favourite drink, okay?
– Okay. – Password?
– You don’t know, give it. His birthday. This is for us. Alright! Enjoy! God bless you all! “Ahuja is dancing the bhangra,
his friends dance along…” “Hurrah to his friends…” “Hurrah to Tathaastu!” That’s it, brother. – Hi.
– So, Radhika… It was nice talking to you. And I’ll get back to you
with my final offer. I hope it’s better than the sh*tty offer
I got from this sh*tty company. Radhika… My offer comes with a lot of perks. “You’ve stolen my heart…” “Don’t look away now, dear…” – Cheers!
– Cheers! “After changing my life…” -I’ll be back.
-Bye. Cheers. No. How about sangria? Okay, wine? Margarita? I don’t drink on Tuesdays. Okay. Then we’ll keep it away, no problem. In fact… I’ll drink it all. Santosh was telling me
that you’re leaving the office. Yes, I’ve had enough. How long will I keep fixing
the WiFi and door locks? I’ve sent the mail. “You’ve stolen my heart…” When Ahuja sir finds time
from these things, we’ll see. Listen, I’m telling you as a friend. There are no jobs in the market. There are unemployed people
selling fries at every corner. I’m just telling you to think twice. Things can change. You might end up liking someone. There’s nothing here for me to like.. One second. Hey, so… – Did you think about my offer?
– Why is it echoing? – Dev Awasthi?
– Yes. – My potential suitor?
– Yes. I mean… is this all a dream? Drinks? It’s a Tuesday though,
hope you drink. – Of course.
– Yeah, cheers! So you work here? Actually, I used to. As soon as she saw her idol, She started flirting. – I’m sure.
– Yeah, so… No, they’re not flirting. They’re talking normally, see. Yeah, so I said… They’re flirting.
She’s even had a breakup. You made her do it. Sorry. – And this… oh!
– It’s okay, Kondapalli. Happens. Sometimes,
the foot puts the axe on itself. It happens. Nothing has happened to me.
I’m fine, okay? I’m good. By the way… The offer is still open. If you’re feeling
lonely on the bench then… “Whether it’s a glass or a heart…
ultimately, it breaks.” “It breaks…” Tell me something. To whom did you address the resignation? I didn’t get a mail. “Whether it’s a glass or a heart…” – To him?
– To him. You should forgive my uncle. He’s good at heart. But… wait a second. How dare you call my company
a sh*tty company? Answer me. See, I came here
to work on the Tathaastu app. And with ‘Dyslexic Alexa’… Hey, it’s a work in progress. Whatever, I mean… It books a cab if I ask it to play music. I end up listening to songs in a cab. – I know…
– I mean… I had such great ideas to make
the front-end operations automated. But after coming here… “It breaks…” See, this is what
I have to deal with everyday. This company has no future. Who says it has no future?
Of course, it does. We have a lot to do…get investments.
We have such good employees. Besides, we have to develop this. Look! Mr. Dev Awasthi… Multimillionaire, Silicon Valley legend,
entrepreneur and investor in Tesla and SpaceX Has taken a decision
that may shake the industry. The visionary non-resident Indian
has decided to shut down Tathaastu. Wow, that’s great! Awasthi’s startup was one of
the big breakthroughs as an entrepreneur. According to the sources, The Tathaastu app was about to be
launched in the next eight months. And his virtual assistant device,
‘Vatsa’, was the talk of every town. But we guess that this sudden
announcement from Mr. Dev Awasthi Shall put all plans to rest. We’ve been constantly trying to
get in touch with Dev and his team. We hope to receive some more updates
on this matter soon. Stay tuned. Why have you turned pale? Translate it. What? Give me the remote, Santosh. Anybody wants a drink? Give me the drink. Bijli! I’m coming back to the village, Bijli. The office is going to shut down. And it’s raining despite a clear sky.