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Top 100 Things Pick-Up Basketball Players Say

September 7, 2019

– Joe you can’t guard me! Ohhhh! – Ones and twos, straight up. – Who’s got next? – All ones, to 11. – Y’all are not up! – We’ve been calling score the whole game. – I got downs. Yo, what’s the score? – 13’s ones and twos. – He has no left, force him left. – Aw, short, aw that’s right, off right. – He has no right, force him right. – Off left, off left. – He can’t shoot.
– Let him shoot. – I’m open I’m open. Woo-hoo. Swing the ball. – My bad on the miss. Man you gotta move bro, you gotta cut. – Yo I got downs, you wanna run with me? – I actually got next, I got downs. – How, you just got here. – Oh that’s wet. Wet! Oh, there it is. This not regulation size,
I knew something was off. – Yo, can I run it with you guys? – No I got fives. You got downs though. – Oh there it is. I just lifted. That’s fine. Shooters shoot. There it is. Shooter’s shoot, baby. Oh yes. Getting warmed up. Oh, there we go! It’s the double rim! – Well which five have you got? There’s only three people here. – They’re playing on the court right now. I got a friend on the way. My boy’s coming actually.
– I got downs. – Nah, I got downs. – Don’t leave me open. Don’t leave me…it’s shaking. If it wasn’t shaking, it would’ve gone in. It’s interference ’cause it was shaking. Check ball. – Is this a girl’s ball? This ball is flat, is this game ball? – Oh, there it is. Hey, I’m warmed up baby, shooters shoot. Here we go. – Screen right, screen right,
switch, switch, switch. Screen left, switch,
switch, switch, switch. I said switch. – Ay we need one for fives. – Nah I’m good.
– We just need one though. – I’m just shooting bro. – That’s a carry.
– That’s not a carry. My hand is right here, this is a carry. This is not a carry. – That’s not what you did. – Man y’all just play
different around here man. I’m not from around here, it’s different. Y’all different. – Foul, that’s me.
– That was all ball. – All hand.
– Hand is part of the ball. – Respect the call man, I called foul. Y’all got last one. – I don’t even play basketball,
I’m a football player. – Bro, cut your nails. How long are your nails? – Count your points.
– I got six. How many you got?
– I got four points. – That’s 10, that’s game point. – You know you ain’t had six. – I scored on you right, you
don’t remember the layup? – No I don’t remember that layup. – The body, huh, you don’t remember? Okay. – Hurry up check it up. – Let me see that ball man. Yeah that’s mine, I gotta go. – Let him shoot, not
a shooter, we’ll live. We need one, one for fives, you wanna run? – Who’s playing? – Guy in the white, guy in the black. – Nah I’m good. – Lock down, lock down, yeah! – Yo where’s my phone? Someone stole my phone. – No, nuh uh that’s broke, that’s broke- – I called bank – How you gonna call it after it goes in? – What type of shoes are those? Are those comfortable? – All right, last game, 21. – Ay! Foul. – Ain’t nobody touch you. – Foul.
foul. – He called foul. Point
don’t count. Check ball. Shouldn’t’ve called foul. – Yo Scoot, can I have some? Waterfall. – That’s enough!
Bro! You called foul before you shot it! – But you fouled me? – We gotta shoot for that. We’re not shooting for anything! And 1! And 1 is not a call. Ball live, Ball live! – Two pointer.
That was a one. His foot was on the line. – Whose ball is it?
Yeah! Yeah! – His opinion don’t matter! He
on the sideline for a reason! Hey, what you saw? – Foul!
Ball! That’s me. – You can’t wait ’till
you see that you miss it to call foul. – I’m just a freshman, bro. – What college? – Nah, I’m in high school.
I’m at Dr. Phillips. – Wait what’s teams again? What’s teams? – Everyone on the outside
v.s. everyone on the inside. – That’s what we want baby! – Mouse in the house. Mismatch, mismatch.
Yeah! Yeah! (yelling) Yeah! Weight room! Put a shirt on. – Game! – You can’t beat me one-on-one though. Put a 100 dollars on it. – And 1! – You ain’t call foul? – Call your foul. We
ain’t giving you nothing. – Basketball’s a team sport. – Put a 100 dollars on it right now. – Next! – Hold up hold up, you
gotta pass the ball in. Oh yeah! That’s us, off his knee! – Nah, I got downs. – You just finished playing. – I got downs. – You just finished playing too! Well, can I run with you guys? – Nah I got 5. – Well who’s got next? – Guy in the black shirt right there, dude in the yellow, guy
in the pink over there. – Cookies! – My bad. That’s on me. I haven’t played in like a month. – I’ll shoot for it. – Ball don’t lie. – I’ll shoot for it. – Match. – Ain’t no match. – Match. – It’s do or die. – Nah, match.
Did you call do or die? – Kobe! – You gonna call foul every time? – Slide your feet! – We ain’t playing NBA rules here. We ain’t in the NBA. Who’s man is that? – 7-5, bad guys. – 7-5, good guys. Here we go. Cut! – Ya’ll got last call! – That’s how you’re gonna do it? All right. All right.
Don’t call foul. Don’t call foul, see, oh. Oh!
Okay! – That’s a walk bro! Two steps! – Nah that was two steps. – One, two – Three steps! – No, bro. Check ball. Yeah, I played at Florida. – You played at Florida? – Little intramural basketball. – Intramural? – Hey, switch. Let me get him. – I got him. – Are you sure you have him? Man, switch!
Get him, get him. – Ball, ball, ball, ball! – Jelly! – Call the screen, I can’t see them! – You can’t dunk, bro. – I could dunk that,
I gotta get warmed up. If I’m warmed up! – Oh, no no, you gotta – My bad. My bad. – You gotta, you gotta
put it above the rim. – That’s on me. – Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on – Man you can’t dunk. Man no, no, you can’t dunk. Game point. – Game point?
No… – Nah we’ve been calling
score the whole game. Put your shoes on, come on! We’ve been calling score the whole game. – No. – Bro! – First. – That’s not a call. – What’s score? – Uh, I think… Hold on, we were checking score that doesn’t count. Check ball. Next point wins. – Wait, what’s score? – Wait, we we’re talking – That’s game no. – I just said it! I just said next score! Oh my gosh, no! Get off the court. – We were calling score. – Get off the court. Next, next. We were calling score, man. – Check ball, check ball. – Next! Next!
Next! – We called straight up at
the beginning of the game. – Pick up, pick up, pick up. Uh, huh. Lockdown. Gametime. – Hey, run it back. Run
it back, run it back. Run it back! – I got downs! – [Voiceover] I’m a grown man! – That’s a carry, man. – Are you serious? – That’s a carry. – Waterfall. (laughing) That gotta be a good clip.


  • Reply ScooterMagruder June 26, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Which number are you??? Should I make more skits like this?

  • Reply OnceUponaSavage July 13, 2019 at 4:19 am

    Bruh this shit accurate af 😂😂

  • Reply IAmGrandVlogs July 13, 2019 at 5:04 am

    I’ve definitely told niggas hit the weight room after a and 1

  • Reply Sir X Perfect July 13, 2019 at 5:07 am

    You ain’t getting no “kwahi bounces” on that double rim!!!


  • Reply Ibnziyad Tariq July 13, 2019 at 7:11 am

    I am the one who was all cool and sportmanship during the first 3 months, until he got to know the other guys and started winning about every damn call lol

  • Reply Ezekiel Nichols July 13, 2019 at 1:08 pm

    That’s exactly how we act at the basketball court all that in one

  • Reply Bailey M July 13, 2019 at 1:26 pm

    The funniest part is someone actually wears a Orlando Magic shirt.

  • Reply ibesweetp2 July 13, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    "I'm warmed up now" after bricking ten 3s in a row and making the 11th is my go-to line.

  • Reply Αντώνης Παπαδόπουλος July 13, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    Is this the 'One Tree Hill' field?

  • Reply Chase Dunagan July 13, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    You forgot the "No, it's not make-it-take-it" guy.

    Who plays half-court pickup and doesn't play make-it-take-it? Get that sh!t out of here.

  • Reply The_ Enkore July 13, 2019 at 4:20 pm

    #TheAccuracy 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • Reply PUNISHER _winz July 13, 2019 at 10:08 pm


  • Reply obi njoku July 13, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    « Hé blue »???

  • Reply Tom Giants fan July 13, 2019 at 10:47 pm

    What about the one that knows he's trash or the one who never shoots

  • Reply Emp Clip July 13, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    3:08. "🐁 in the 🏠!!! 😂😂😂

  • Reply Furz July 13, 2019 at 11:49 pm

    For some reason I checked if it was a carry at 1:23

  • Reply Justin Hampton July 14, 2019 at 3:57 am

    How is this so accurate!

  • Reply Zebop July 14, 2019 at 4:02 am

    3:52 Me. Every. Single. Shot.

  • Reply jluis90s July 14, 2019 at 6:14 am

    Im just shootin bro

  • Reply DaevonTheSavage July 14, 2019 at 6:52 am

    3:07 (me on 2k with my Center and a guard switches on me in the park)
    *backs him down*

  • Reply Yourcreditcardnumber July 14, 2019 at 7:12 am

    I practice a lot at a ymca near me, and I always get asked if I want to play with them, I always say no, because Everyone hogs the ball thinking they can break someone’s ankles.

  • Reply Matthewk00lkid 13 July 14, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    In others words….

    We got to watch them play a game of ball

  • Reply M_ TheGod July 14, 2019 at 5:45 pm


    I be lying🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply Kai Sommers July 14, 2019 at 10:42 pm

    😂whoelse claims its the double rim when you miss a shot???😂

  • Reply Kai Sommers July 14, 2019 at 10:47 pm

    This might be better then dude perfects version

  • Reply danny kee July 15, 2019 at 12:57 am

    @ScooterMagruder you forgot the quote, "I just got finished lifting the ball too light"

  • Reply Frank Dogg July 15, 2019 at 2:34 am

    I f**** hate that double rim yo

  • Reply Sean Kelly July 15, 2019 at 3:22 am

    This shit real as fuck🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply Switch July 15, 2019 at 3:27 am

    Am I the only one who doesn’t say shit and wins most of the games I play?

  • Reply Riley Will July 15, 2019 at 5:25 am

    I’m just shooting bro that’s me

  • Reply Odysseyodyssey July 15, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    Everybody who played ball in NYC: Somebody stole my phone

  • Reply kg062007 July 16, 2019 at 1:11 am


  • Reply Justice July 16, 2019 at 1:22 am

    cut your NAILS! Lmao facts

  • Reply conzyreaper2 July 16, 2019 at 3:50 am

    The pickup ballers at my schools gym travel like an international business executives. 😂

  • Reply Brad Heckman July 16, 2019 at 4:17 am

    “Oh yeah my bad, you gotta move, you gotta cut” you don’t know how many times I’ve been told that and I HATE IT

  • Reply Christopher Jones July 16, 2019 at 7:25 pm


  • Reply nahum.03 July 17, 2019 at 2:20 am

    If you call and-1… you better make the bucket 💀

  • Reply Matthew Mack July 17, 2019 at 9:42 am

    1:46 this one killed me

  • Reply otto octavious July 17, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    And the guy who calls balls out when he half way down the court not even near the play

  • Reply Nick Sealy July 17, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Your hand touch it last

  • Reply Nick Sealy July 17, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Win by 2

  • Reply Gaston Luzardo Moreira July 18, 2019 at 2:33 am

    I didn't know that Juan cuadrado was playing ball now

  • Reply Maxfer 14 July 18, 2019 at 6:29 am

    What is downs?

  • Reply Deshon Davis July 19, 2019 at 1:34 am

    This shit on point 😂 💯

  • Reply Jermaine FL July 19, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    Defense calls the foul. Bullllllshit. LAMO

  • Reply sbk July 19, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    What about lucky shot, today is a good day , now I play real D and then the one who screams game when hitting the gamewinner

  • Reply MidNight ExoDus July 19, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    Top 100 things to never say in an airport

  • Reply Benny Stevens July 19, 2019 at 10:59 pm

    I got downs tf is that

  • Reply Adam Woolston July 22, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    "You gotta CUT"
    I actually got physically angry at that one. So many flashbacks😂😂😂

  • Reply A.D _Playz July 23, 2019 at 10:49 am

    Number 23 is flight reacts no joke 🤣

  • Reply Jonni Zeal Stetsa July 24, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    Everytime I see this guys video .. I just die of laughter …🤣😂

  • Reply Nate dagreat July 25, 2019 at 7:48 am

    Always that one dude that says "naw naw naw runnit back!!"

  • Reply Danny's Tech Thoughts July 25, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    KD. Never said #100 with the Thunder😂

  • Reply Timothy Brown July 28, 2019 at 4:02 am

    You forgot the guy stands too close to the court.

  • Reply KingSmooth 34 July 31, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    Yo this was hilarious and also accurate as hell! KMSL 🤣🤣 🤣🤣 🤣

  • Reply Thanos the Mad Titan August 1, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    0:23 Literally the most annoying thing in basketball. People think they can lead the whole team by doing fancy dribbles in one spot and taking a step back 3. And then blaming people for not being open. Speaking from experience. Left my basketball team because of it. And they haven’t won since I left. I’m not saying I could lead the damn team by myself, but I knew my role, and shared the ball when I needed to and took shots when I needed to.

  • Reply Felipe Jose Mamisay August 3, 2019 at 2:46 am

    Scooter is like screaming all game long hahaha

  • Reply Gerwaan Hartfield August 9, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    Run it back

  • Reply DragonLord606 YT August 10, 2019 at 3:55 pm

    You can't wait to see you miss it to call a foul 😂

  • Reply WesmyTheGamer August 12, 2019 at 12:11 am

    Lol, I'm dead😆

  • Reply oj lott August 14, 2019 at 4:14 am

    U gotta move ,u gotta cut man

  • Reply Alex Reed August 14, 2019 at 6:44 am

    #80 all day

  • Reply Alpha August 14, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    I’ve actually said, “It’s the double rim!”

  • Reply Albert Arbelo August 16, 2019 at 6:41 am

    Cookies!!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply Chris Vontricya August 17, 2019 at 5:17 am

    Only southern people say downs

  • Reply Yarnball G August 17, 2019 at 4:37 pm

    Where’s the” I could’ve made the NBA “ or “ I got offered a scholarship to Duke, but I turned it down”

  • Reply Tyson Weissenfluh-Wilson August 17, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    How long are your nails? 😂

  • Reply Rw Chitown August 17, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    And one is not a call

  • Reply Tyler Grant August 17, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    top 10 sus things hoopers say
    1. get in his ass
    2. stick him
    3. get in th hole
    4. 'D' him
    5. blow job (on missed layups)
    6. sat on him (describing a dunk on)
    7. he wet af (smh)
    ..ok i got no more, yall keep goin

  • Reply ThatKidMilezHigh M August 18, 2019 at 3:06 am

    At 1:39 I genuinely said gtfo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 had to catch myself from going all out. I hate weak calls

  • Reply Jerry8yomomma August 18, 2019 at 7:21 am

    Sayin AND 1 is NOT calling a for a foul lol i hate that shit

  • Reply JJ August 18, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    Tbh shooter is a little more jacked than i thought 💪

  • Reply IIPharaohII August 18, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    You should have added the catch your own air ball travel

  • Reply Chris Sullivan August 18, 2019 at 8:51 pm


  • Reply MajesticDragon1218 August 18, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    :50 the guy shooting and missing is just like FLIGHTREACTS

  • Reply Victor Joe Flores JR August 19, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    Shooter magruder

  • Reply bigwayne37 August 19, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    Bruh gotta be from the O…that dr Phillips was spot on…boys be looking like full blown adults back in the day

  • Reply Emloki August 19, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    Yessssss! Hahahaha

  • Reply Aaron Siminou August 20, 2019 at 12:36 am

    this is too true

  • Reply chewy yo August 20, 2019 at 3:19 am

    The re-enactment of the travel is so true

  • Reply Gabe Myers August 20, 2019 at 5:27 am

    " I'm just shooting". Busted. That's me.

  • Reply BigNig4000 August 20, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    These are pretty much all of the 2k community. So fuckin toxic and autistic it hurts

  • Reply Kanye Twitty August 22, 2019 at 2:20 am

    “He won’t do it again that’s luck”…*proceeds to do it again*

  • Reply Jason Ovalle August 22, 2019 at 2:34 am

    🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂 #BIGFACTS

  • Reply MykeUhBee August 22, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    I do 44 all the time lol

  • Reply Seoul Ting August 22, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    "Jordan" "Fadeaway" "Ankle breaker".

  • Reply RayLo August 22, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    The tiny asian guy has crazy handle no surprise there.

  • Reply RayLo August 22, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    I haven't played in over a month. I used to say that all the time when I was playing shit.

  • Reply Javier Vargas August 23, 2019 at 3:17 am

    “We’re not doing double team bro” 😂😂

  • Reply Studio Rise Tv August 23, 2019 at 6:30 am

    Lost it at "yo you gotta move, you gotta cut"

  • Reply Mr StealYoGril August 23, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    >you gotta shoot for that

  • Reply Wilsirom Wilsirom August 23, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    What does downs mean

  • Reply Landon Kauffman August 24, 2019 at 1:45 am

    #50 is me

  • Reply jacoblobrotpiano August 25, 2019 at 1:07 am

    More like the only 100 things they say

  • Reply Kevin B August 25, 2019 at 6:54 am

    "its just that I'm out of shape. I literally havent played in 5 years bro. I literally broke my ankle like yesterday… "

  • Reply Joshua Jurado August 26, 2019 at 6:17 am

    Joe is fast af, he played on the filipino league in orlando

  • Reply IMzKDC23 August 26, 2019 at 5:34 pm

    0:22 #16-19 was me for 7 fucking years until they saw me knock down 3 straight jump shots… No one ever told me to cut ever again.

  • Reply #keepa smile August 26, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    It's probably still 100 more things people just be saying!!!🤣

  • Reply goodfellabeats August 31, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    3:00 Dr. Phillips lol! I knew that looked like Orlando.

  • Reply GG_ Faiz September 3, 2019 at 1:57 am

    u look like pj tucker

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